Jason versus Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

It needs to be said right out the gate, Tommy Wirkola's Dead Snow is the cat's ass. Based on the strength of that film alone, I had an inkling that Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters would be something special. That's why I pimped the fuck out of it on the site sight unseen. Now it's time to put the Jeremy Renner/Gemma Arterton fairy-tale-action-horror flick on the chopping block.

Hansel and Gretel are bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world. As the fabled Blood Moon approaches, the siblings encounter a new form of evil that might hold a secret to their past.

First off, kudos to Paramount Pictures and MGM for showing faith in this tough-to-market movie and releasing it in the hard R-rated version it was intended. There's no way, and I mean no way, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters would fly in a trimmed down, PG-13 version. No way.

This is a bloody, foul mouthed and fun as fuck flick that pulls no punches and never ceases to entertain. There's black comedy, ultra violence, and a great mix of practical and CGI effects that brings this dark spin on the Grimm fairy tale to life.

Shawn and I did a segment on the show last season about A-list stars doing B-movies, and Hansel and Gretel is a perfect example of that wish list put into action. We've got Renner and Arterton, who is dead sexy by the way, "slumming" it in what is essentially a $50-million B-movie. And they own it. Each is perfect in their role. Credit must be given to Famke Janssen as well, who is a prime bitch as the main bad witch. Say that 10 times fast.

Hansel and Gretel isn't a mainstream movie, but I'm glad it got a wide release and succeeded on its own terms. I could watch a dozen of these, and look forward to what Wirkola does next with this franchise. Yes, I want more Hansel and Gretel movies. Wanna fight about it?

A Good. Can't wait to see it again.

Comments

#CocktailHour: Slushtail

Summer approaches, inspiring thoughts of sunshine, backyard parties, and having a tip and sip with friends. With that in mind, I bring you this week sunny beverage. To make a slushtail, mix a can of frozen orange juice, a can of frozen lemonade (or limeade), a can of pineapple juice, a couple cups of black tea (or English Breakfast), and two cups of bourbon- such as Southern Comfort, in a pitcher. When it's all nicely mixed, put it in the freezer until it's a nice slushy consistency. Scoop the slush into a cocktail glass, and pour in some Sprite or 7-Up. Add a little umbrella for some frivolous fun, and a straw. Voila! Ready to enjoy. This is a very refreshing drink. The fruit juices, Sprite, and bourbon- when chilled makes for a great punch-like drink. The bourbon doesn't overwhelm juices. In fact, they are all nicely balanced in terms of flavors. The sourness of the citrus fruits contrasts well with the slightly sweeter Southern Comfort. It was refreshing enou

Unlock your fate with The Puzzle

When my dad wasn't working, building stuff or being my dad, he was making puzzles. It was a guaranteed way for him to unwind. So it was with great interest that I sat down to watch Italian filmmaker Davide Melini's award-winning short The Puzzle. You see, the mother in the five-minute film likes to relax with puzzles just like my dad. Unfortunately, her good-for-nothing son keeps harassing her for money. Losing herself in her favourite passtime, the mother soon discovers that completing this puzzle might unlock a nightmare. The Puzzle has been an official selection at more European film festivals than you can shake a stick at, and was voted Third Best Italian Film at the Rome International Film Festival in 2008. Having watched it, I'm not surprised. It's a tight little film that hits you hard in the final few seconds. You can tell Melini cut his teeth as an assistant director for legendary Italian filmmaker Dario Argento. But enough chit chat on my part. See if yo

The Animated Addict: "The Adventures of Tintin" (2011)

If you're a 40 + white dude, like myself, you may remember a comic series called " The Adventures of Tintin ". I know I remember them. This series, dating back to 1929, got turned into a animated feature film by Steven Spielberg in 2011. After buying a model of ship called The Unicorn, teenaged journalist Tintin finds himself on adventure that will take him from the high seas, to the low deserts, and from the distant past to the present. With his trusty dog, Snowy, by his side, Tintin uncovers a story connecting two men across the centuries.. . The story is really quite good. It's well crafted, and high paced- with just enough slow moments to build and develop the world and the characters. This is the sort of adventure story you'd find in the old serials of the 1930's and '40's. In fact, it felt like it was the sort of tale that you'd find Indiana Jones undertaking. I found myself swept up, and swept along as our hero swung from one e

Search This Blog